Did carol baskin murder her husband? probably. most likely.

I’m sure by this point in quarantine, we all have watched “Tiger King.” I first just had it in the background and then I was like, “He has how many wives? And that guy has how many husbands?”

Joe Exotic’s straight husbands. We’ve all sucked a dick or two for meth. Let’s not judge them.

Great show that makes me never want to step foot in Oklahoma. “Tiger King” made Oklahoma the new Florida.

Joe Exotic, the gun-totting redneck with a mullet, was the main character of the series but a lot of the attention was focused on his nemesis, (which normal human beings don’t have) Carol Baskin. Joe is currently in jail for attempting to murder Carol amongst other things. So many other things…

One of the things Joe repeats throughout this show is that Carol murdered her ex-husband, Don Lewis. He is adamant that she ground him up real nice and fed him to the tigers like a nice juicy burger.

I don’t usually like to agree with a man who has a mullet but in this case, I would have to.

She totally killed her husband and here is why.

Now, Nebraska Avenue in Tampa is a great street to visit if you want to meet prostitutes. That’s where Carol met Lewis. So their first meet-cute was probably started out transactional, not weird it would end that way as well.

Now Don was married at the time he picked up this prostitute named Carol and Don had a pattern of jumping onto another lady when they seemed to get little too old like 30. Gross. If you saw more than 7 Olympics, you ain’t Don’s type.

It was obvious to Carol that Don had a side ho, which was getting dangerously close to being his main ho, in Costa Rica. Don was moving around his assets, getting ready to leave Carol but I guess wasn’t too subtle about it. Carol caught on and started to threaten Don. This is when he puts out a restraining order against her but crazy bitches don’t get stopped by restraining orders.

Don goes “””””””””missing””””””””””

Yeah, motherfucker got murdered for sure.

They found his van at a small airstrip and one can think that Don flew his own plane to Costa Rica but he had a tiny plane which he would have needed to refuel five times to get there so there is no way.

Also, he always flew commercial whenever he would go to Costa Rica. Little risky to be attempting this impossible small-aircraft trip to be with the love of his life. There is no way.

The van was obviously planted there to make it look like Don flew away on his plane but nope.

If you are an avid fan of true crime, you know that 90% of the murder is done by the significant other. So obviously Carol would have been a number one suspect. But guess what? Her brother was a Sheriff so everything was fine and dandy.

How perfect.

Don had a massive 200-acre park and Carol could have hidden his body anywhere in that giant park. She didn’t even have to make Don in to a burger patty for her kittens. Probably just dump him out in the back yard and no one would have given a fuck. The cops just flew over the property and went, “Eh, I don’t see shit. Wanna go grab lunch?”

Once again, I will never set foot in Oklahoma.

Obviously, Don’s family knew that Carol killed Don but couldn’t say shit because Carol had all the money and would threaten them with lawsuits if they ever said shit.

This is why you don’t stick your dick in crazy.

As a sidenote, this show was so fucking crazy that on the last episode this dude decides to do the interview in his bathtub but so many crazy shit happened that I thought this shit was normal until I saw this tweet.